seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They took my balls.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
