My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
