so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
