p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
