no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
whose parrot is this?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
