I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
