I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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