May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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