go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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