Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
