problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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