By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
