This girl is more easily done than said...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
