Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My bed smells like the plague
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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