Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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