if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
