Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
