don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
