I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
