I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
