I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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