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Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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