im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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