Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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