I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
