she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
