i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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