Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
