so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish i was in the wii world.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
