I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
