I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
