he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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