I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
