The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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