This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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