Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
