I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
