So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
