her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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