I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
