seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
