i just wanna soil my oats bro
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
