I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
