It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
