Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
