those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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