she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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