your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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