so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
