We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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