I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
