My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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