he looks like a really good dad on facebook
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
