You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
