nut hugger
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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